baby jesus like a ninja



Dear Baby Jesus

Thank you for the best childhood ever
for the nicely manicured lawns
dutifully tended to every Sunday
after church
for the sun tea baking on the porch
and the strawberries in the patch
Thank you, baby jesus
for the community free of minorities
and forward thinking
for the streets free of gang violence
for the jehovah’s witness even
and the evangelists
thank you for putting the shame on
all those unwed and/or single mothers,
those people with the weak-minded mental illnesses
and the ghastly homosexuals
in general, just thank you so much
for putting a clamp down
on all the SEX stuff
I didn’t know what my period was
until I got it one day in gym
that kinda sucked
but thank you
and maybe while you were hiding
all the dildos and other adult fun
you could have taught the old people
not to stick their fingers and whatnot
in the young people
that would have been nice
but oh well
maybe that’s why Billy Bob’s uncle
is also his dad
I never met anyone conceived from incest before
thank you, baby jesus

I know. I know
some people want to give all the credit to Satan
the Devil
he’s busy with wars
and shit
he wants the glory of all those big fatality numbers
you.. you are oh so patient
killing them softly and gently
with shitty lives
contrived of stifling rules…
call it morality!
Shame, shame
the bent and twisted
call it love
I want you to have all the credit
saving us all from the fires of Hell

I can pray to you for forgiveness
I can pray to you for the Friday night football game
we can all join hands and pray pray pray
then sing the star spangled banner
oh, thank you, baby jesus
for making me an American
thank you for making us better
than every other nation in the world
so what if we drop in rankings
in education
economic freedom
global competitiveness
and innovation
we are responsible for FACEBOOK
Honey Boo Boo
and taco shells made out of Doritos!
this is all thanks to you, baby jesus

I have more rights to my guns
than my own body!!
sweet baby jesus
thank you for
Women that know their place
in dresses
in kitchens
in the delivery room
children, children, children
let’s have more babies, baby jesus!
Every last one of them precious
until they learn to breathe
in the polluted
but free as all fuck
liberty-laced air

–Michele McDannold

Previously published at Ppigpenn.
from the upcoming release from Punk Hostage Press, August 2014
Stealing the Midnight from a Handful of Days

oh, and.. thank you sweet baby jesus for ANOTHER DAMN FACEBOOK PAGE. sincerely needed that. <3 <3


available in facebook flavor now, too.         whoop whoop!

So much poetry…


hey. hey lady..


there is no need for the tractor of cheese. feed that child some good poetry. #getconstipated

So much poetry..classic poetry, academic poetry, award winning poetry, small press poetry…is pure shit. I read it and dismiss it and it leaves my brain, thankfully. Michele McDannold’s poetry is not shit. It does not leave my brain, thankfully. I am constipated with Michele McDannold’s lines and I am very glad. Here’s to the ones who are not cool, who don’t try to be cool, who just write their fucking truth line by fucking line in syllables that sing to the sky. –Misti Rainwater-Lites

Thank you, Misti. Ebullience, always.

get more mistivelvet here


and, fucking enjoy the age of google. damn.

from Stealing the Midnight from a Handful of Days. Punk Hostage Press. be out in August, yo. truth…

So white trash

i’m doing my best to ignore the kids
but they’re not cooperating
there is no peace
no quiet
there are only moments of reprieve
when I can sink into the word
fall into a radiohead song
or two
or three
four, five
on loop

i’m a nervous mess
and need more and more
to fill this new void

you are out of reach
so I have
Jack Daniel’s, cigarettes
coffee, weed
writing, writing
the love letters
will remain
the confessions
will stay locked up
hiding in the bathroom
sucking down a one-hitter

–Michele McDannold

Nothing’s For Free



More Jack Grisham

The universe has been fairly consistent with its message lately. Pay this way or that, you’re going to pay. I’d rather get out of my comfort zone and work the hustle in support of something I believe in. I realized several years ago the chances that I was going to buck up and grind for the man were slim to none. so it’s all in or nothing…make it count time.. I’m not sure why people hate on this, especially other artists, writers, creative-types who wouldn’t have a venue to stand in or a publication to brag about if it wasn’t for people who are committed to seeing it happen regardless of bullshit, with any means necessary. Our society is not exactly falling all over itself to support the arts. You really do have to ‘be about it’ 100billion percent. It might seem crazy– but to me, it is the healthiest goddamn choice I have ever made.

Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life.

–Hunter S. Thompson

more… Hunter S. Thompson On Finding Your Purpose In Life

it doesn’t take much to encourage the artist that is going to do what they do regardless. i love knowing those kinds of people and like to show my support how and when i can. so i threw 20 bucks at this worthy cause. BE ABOUT IT / BOOK TOUR


Be About It is a non-profit publishing house focusing on undiscovered and undercovered talent. We make zines and small-run chapbooks and we just started digital publishing with our new tumblr page! Be About It is something we do because we love it. We’re about it. But we also have bills to pay and that creates challenges because we would really prefer to just give everything away for free. Seriously. Because screw capitalism. Everything we make we either give away for free or sell for very cheap, just enough to pay for materials and contributor copies. But only barely. But yeah, we pay for everything out of our pockets: paper, ink, time, plane tickets so we can visit you in your city and do a reading party, bus tickets because you live closer. Why can’t everything be free. Be About It zine has a new issue out (our 8th issue, “Ri¢h”), we’re putting out our first paper chapbook (‘I’ve been on tumblr,’ by Jesse Prado), and we’re going on tour this summer to promote these things as well as Alexandra debut poetry collection, published by the non-profit house Punk Hostage Press. We are funding this tour ourselves, but we could use your help. Please consider donating and supporting the small press.

20bucks, i mean come on, it’s not going to kill me, maybe i’ll smoke a little less which is definitely killing me, also i like the smell of ink on paper. sharpies are pretty rad too.

looooove to all the punk hostages and hustlers of the world <3

oh and i have blue hair now


wordpornyou ever have that moment? you’re sitting there at your computer, typing up your asian dominatrix wordporn because it’s the only way your friend can communicate and you just wonder… what are they in love with anyway?

i’d bet you a big ol gaggle of monkeys, they don’t even know. we are turned off on off on on, every which way and loose too. i see the empties walking around oblivious to their constant hard-ons. omg it’s a new bud light. holy fuck, look at this watercress hipster delight sauce.


i suppose it’s good to be well-rounded. it reminds me of when my kids were little, in Scouts. doing a bunch of dumb shit (occasionally fun shit) to earn badges or beads, whichever the case–it was often pointless and only for show. for the vest/sash to signify *how good you are?*

i call bullshit. fine for grade school but you’re all grown-ass n stuff. unless it’s a safety-pin to your bare chest badge (maybe a tattoo badge)…not good enough. love harder. and, you know…long time.

now you take swift kick to ass and go byebye
(end poem)