Instant Pussy: looks strange but tastes just fine

Standard

Polite was taught to me at a very young age as keep your fucking mouth shut–anything beyond please and thanks, lid on it. I remember quite vividly the struggle this produced in even asking for basic things. Like, “May I use the restroom?” or “Can I have something to drink?” I would sit there, the words stuck and anxiety growing. In my head I would be saying, ok dummy on the count of 10, say it out loud.

Time moves painfully slow when you’re having this sort of mental fuckery–might as well call it torture. The helplessness of being a child in an adult world, amplified. When we are babies, we do not have the recognition that soon we will have the ability to communicate our needs clearly with words. Once you know… and yet that ability has been taken away from you for whatever reason, it is torture.

I’m not crying about it anymore, externally or internally. It is at the crux of what made me a writer. The power of words–what you say and how you say it, that stuff goes deep down into the bones. I consider it a severe abuse of this power– twisting words with an agenda to manipulate, to control, to subvert. Today I am grateful that embracing my own voice on the page, evermore, helps me to say it out loud.

if somehow we didn’t

have wings that clip
to the black surface
of our waking lives
we might soar
instead of
stutter
at the light
ahead
we might
take that road
into night
unknown
with less trepidation
than ever before

they say
she is not afraid
like it’s a bad thing
when they are really bold
they say
she is fearless
in a tone unkind

and quite noticeably
envious

“if somehow we didn’t” was previously published in Instant Pussy #69 — available here http://www.lulu.com/shop/misti-rainwater-lites/instant-pussy-69/paperback/product-22525443.html Contributors include Ben John Smith, Jay Passer, Rusty Barnes, J.D. Nelson among others…


heyyMichele McDannold is the author of Stealing the Midnight from a Handful of Days, a book of poetry available from PUNK HOSTAGE PRESS. She was the Editor-in-Chief at Red Fez Publications for five years and is currently the editor/publisher at Citizens for Decent Literature. She has an extensive collection of flannel and rubber chicken heads. For more, please visit michelemcdannold.com.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s