Instant Pussy: looks strange but tastes just fine

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Polite was taught to me at a very young age as keep your fucking mouth shut–anything beyond please and thanks, lid on it. I remember quite vividly the struggle this produced in even asking for basic things. Like, “May I use the restroom?” or “Can I have something to drink?” I would sit there, the words stuck and anxiety growing. In my head I would be saying, ok dummy on the count of 10, say it out loud.

Time moves painfully slow when you’re having this sort of mental fuckery–might as well call it torture. The helplessness of being a child in an adult world, amplified. When we are babies, we do not have the recognition that soon we will have the ability to communicate our needs clearly with words. Once you know… and yet that ability has been taken away from you for whatever reason, it is torture.

I’m not crying about it anymore, externally or internally. It is at the crux of what made me a writer. The power of words–what you say and how you say it, that stuff goes deep down into the bones. I consider it a severe abuse of this power– twisting words with an agenda to manipulate, to control, to subvert. Today I am grateful that embracing my own voice on the page, evermore, helps me to say it out loud.

if somehow we didn’t

have wings that clip
to the black surface
of our waking lives
we might soar
instead of
stutter
at the light
ahead
we might
take that road
into night
unknown
with less trepidation
than ever before

they say
she is not afraid
like it’s a bad thing
when they are really bold
they say
she is fearless
in a tone unkind

and quite noticeably
envious

“if somehow we didn’t” was previously published in Instant Pussy #69 — available here http://www.lulu.com/shop/misti-rainwater-lites/instant-pussy-69/paperback/product-22525443.html Contributors include Ben John Smith, Jay Passer, Rusty Barnes, J.D. Nelson among others…


heyyMichele McDannold is the author of Stealing the Midnight from a Handful of Days, a book of poetry available from PUNK HOSTAGE PRESS. She was the Editor-in-Chief at Red Fez Publications for five years and is currently the editor/publisher at Citizens for Decent Literature. She has an extensive collection of flannel and rubber chicken heads. For more, please visit michelemcdannold.com.

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inertia

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rule #1: You MUST move your OWN arms

seems like a no-brainer, huh? most of the #1 rules are. as i have found myself repeating this multiple times over the last few days to teenzilla jr. and struggling #thestruggleisreal with feeling overwhelmed… i get it. really don’t feel like moving my own arms sometimes. this is when the honey badgerism comes in handy. because– seriously, kids, you must move your own arms.

anyway, gearing up for pre-book-release noise… i’m not apologizing, in advance. i’ll do all the annoying promo things i would tell anyone else they should be doing. speaking of which, you can now follow me on twitter or instagram @oneldammit …to keep up with utter nonsense, occasional announcements and blurry photography.

oneldammit

i’m working on a cover page for a media kit. this term’s schoolwork is two birds, one stone. in progress for the public relations course…
cover_page-web2

the website is not the least bit done. several different idea tracks on what to do with it. a full media kit and website should be done in.. three weeks? for finals?!? jesuseffinchrist.

rock_poem

Authenticity Rocks!

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man, I argued with myself over this, endlessly. but, Michele– this time you might really piss someone off with consequences much worse than getting blasted on facebook. but… but… FUCKEM!

note to self: you really should stop preceding fuck, of any kind, with but. just saying.

what-if-its-supposed-to-be-i-love-you-butt-fuck-you

so i started this blog because it was an assignment for a social media class i’m taking. this has been a good class.. i have learned many things and confirmed some thoughts about social networking that i already had. here’s the dilemma. like most new things i start, i jump right in and obsessively go nuts with it until i feel like i understand what’s going on. i did this with the blog, of course… not looking ahead to the other assignments like.. post a link to your 1st, 2nd, 3rd blog post so your classmates can comment on it.

YIKES! um, does it have to be those particular posts? i’m an over-achiever. gimme a break. those are not the particular posts I would choose to share in order to solicit comment from classmates. i already moved post #2 to post #3 when i encountered this yikes moment a few weeks ago and now i’m here again. it’s titled “Google Images: Hookers & Chuck E. Cheese.” see? what if it really offends one of the classmates, they complain to the professor, and he flunks me? that would suck balls. then i think of those times i was sure i was going to offend some people.. and nuthin. and those times i offended all kinds of people when it was the furthest thing from my mind or intention. >>>fuck. it. seriously

i have looked all over the assignment rubric and there is nothing that says “no hookers or blow or foul language.” so, there ya go. it’s a pretty decent blog post that employs some of the tactics taught in this class. winner winner chicken dinner.

i know it’s just a silly little blog post but apply to anything you feel good about but are hesitating with for some reason and.. isn’t it nice how the universe delivers when you’re looking for a reason to do something.. because you want to, because you need to be brave, because how difficult it is–doesn’t matter. just be real. be true to yourself, to your failing and learning, making it up as you go along like everyone else self.

maybe my walls aren’t rainbow-covered, but like the lady said… it doesn’t much matter. the phrase of the day is >>>>>Nothing to Lose<<<<<

is a poem     is a radio show     was an event (and hopefully will be again… soon!)

is something to save your sanity!

no, I have not lost everything. I have not lost the most important things. but, I gotta tell ya… most of it just doesn’t matter. “It” in most cases here covering all those external expectations. maybe it’s your neighbor or your mail man or that dick in the checkout lane at walmart. sometimes it’s even your friends and if you’re anything like me… it’s 75% of your family, 99.9% of the time. forget it, kids. living up to your own expectations is going to be hard enough. sometimes you just gotta pony up and say fuck this shit… what have I got to lose?

nothingtolose

it’s funny how a vibrating needle in your back can bring things in to sharp focus.

oh, also… is in this song. let’s all sing along, now

and, looks like this in practice. <3

freedomhappy sunday, bitches!