Have you ever been passed super duper hungry, passed the grumbles.. onto the deep, empty ache which is bad enough on its own but really suck bubbly when the grumbles return again on top of it so you drink bad, cheap coffee and foolishly smoke cigarettes to stave and forget by at least feeding one sad gnawing need the fix it calls for… by the gallonful.
yeah. blows chunks.
but that is not now. now is a time of fruition and abundance. a time of loving friends, open hearts, french toast and bacon even, bitches. it’s glorious with syrup and supreme gratefulness. Thank you, hoosiers. i love you.
i enjoy this time, think about straightening my shit up and remembering with humility and reverence–the other hand of fate. careful to remain thankful for both the trials and the triumphs.
this time reminds me of a certain not too long ago Santa Monica/Venice–that day trip with Jessie Jay Indigo Child and Loopo the traveling dog. dog being a misnomer for this lovely soul. and i don’t even like dogs. a short detour first to the Human Services Office for a fresh, food card. i sat in the jeep with the marijuana not really drugs (mine) and the dog, making a peanut butter jelly sammich and loving the shade of a lush california tree. no evidence of the drought here in this inner city government office complex parking lot. only name badges and lines. we–to be counted for eating. take it however you want, it’s a strange thing to grant ‘not starving.’
Then a drive through Topanga Canyon beautiful to Santa Monica green foodie co-op. we thanked Obama for the lovely lunch…food i forget the name but never had before and enjoyed thoroughly. onto the venice beach from a sweet slow day parking spot, just strolled a few blocks right up there. off the shoes and down down down the beach because last time i was too frightened stunned to go too close to the edge. even though it’s the easiest thing. it’s days like that will keep you full and days like that you really hunger for.